Premarital Counseling Application and Policy

We understand that completing this application does not imply that Pastor Andersen will agree to officiate at our wedding.

We understand that Pastor Andersen may at any time refuse to officiate at our wedding if he feels that we are not prepared to be married, if we fail to complete any premarital requirements Pastor Andersen stipulates, or if we fail to follow the wedding policy of St. John Evangelical Lutheran Church. We further understand that Pastor Andersen will refuse to officiate at our wedding should any member of the wedding party, or any family member of the wedding party, attempt to bully, threaten or intimidate Pastor Andersen, his family, or any member of St. John Evangelical Lutheran Church in regard to the wedding service or premarital requirements.

We understand that if we set a date for our wedding without first contacting Pastor Andersen, and having him approve of the date, and insure that the church facilities are available for our wedding, we may not be able to be married at St. John Evangelical Lutheran Church or by Pastor Andersen, on that date.

We understand that we, and not Pastor Andersen, nor St. John Evangelical Lutheran Church, are responsible for obtaining, before the wedding service, a valid marriage license in Jo Davies County, in the State of Illinois.

We understand that we will be expected to purchase two copies of, and read the book "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John M Gottman Ph.D. We further understand that we will be tested on our knowledge of this text and that we both are required to receive a passing score in order to be married by Pastor Andersen.

We understand that we will be expected, prior to our wedding, to attend a minimum of 5 (or more if deemed appropriate) sessions with Pastor Andersen. The agenda for these minimum sessions will be as follows:

  1. Introductions, sharing of history and expectations.
  2. Take the "Prepare Enrich" premarital inventory.
  3. Discuss the results of the "Prepare Enrich" inventory.
  4. Discuss the book "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work"
  5. Discuss the details of the wedding service

We understand that should one or both of us have previous marriages we will most likely be expected to seek counseling, at our own cost, by a councilor acceptable to Pastor Andersen BEFORE Pastor Andersen will officiate at our wedding. We further understand that we will be required to provide Pastor Andersen all forms of consent required to confer with said counselor prior to our wedding.

We understand that the wedding service will be conducted as a worship service, and in accordance with the current practices of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. We further understand that Pastor Andersen will have the final authority to approve or deny any proposed aspect of the wedding ceremony, including but not limited to music selections, vows, other performances, photography and decorations. If you are unsure of something it is best to inquire earlier than later. All music at the wedding will be performed live, no use of pre-recorded music will be approved.

We understand that there will be a wedding rehearsal a minimum of 24 hours before the wedding, and that any member of the wedding party not present for the rehearsal will not participate in the wedding, without specific, previous arrangements with Pastor Andersen.

We understand that any modification of these terms will be in writing and bare Pastor AndersenŐs signature or will have no force.

We further understand that all arrangements with Pastor Andersen will be made by the bride, or her designee, and that arrangements made by any other party, the mother of the bride in particular, will have no force. We understand that should a discrepancy between these conditions and the Wedding Policy of St. John Evangelical Lutheran Church arise, the more restrictive conditions will apply.

We understand that if neither the bride, nor the groom nor any member of their immediate families are members in good standing of St. John Evangelical Lutheran Church, we will need to work out an agreement for compensation for Pastor AndersenŐs time, with Pastor Andersen. That agreement will be appended to this document.